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CygnusX1
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Posts by CygnusX1
excerpts from the Diary of a Paranoid Schizophrenic
Feb 13th
Posted by CygnusX1 in Short stories
By Lee Barr a.k.a CygnusX1
Tuesday, Oct 11th. – The Tail
Today they made contact with me. I went to the book store. I was looking for a good book to pass the time. I was there for about 10 minutes just browsing the shelf. I noticed a guy, he was around 25. He was wearing a black t- shirt with jeans. He had a fake mohawk. I say fake because he had a normal short haircut, but used hair gel to slick it up into a mohawk style. I noticed he was looking at me from a few isles away. I went back to looking at the books. I saw movement off to my right and turned to look that way. There he was, approaching me. He held out two packs of cigarettes in the palm of one hand. They had an Indian head wearing a headress logo on them. He asked if I wanted to buy them. He told me he bought them at a cigar shop. I told him I didnt want them. He didnt approach anybody else and left the store. I thought it was peculiar. They are following me.
Thursday, Oct 13th. – The “Bugs”
It’s not the season for hummingbirds, but there it is again. It flys around this one tree, but the tree isn’t flowering. It only comes when I’m outside. I stood there, watching the sky and a bee came flying around me head. It didn’t make any sound. That’s odd, I thought to myself. I said outloud, “You stupid fools, bees make sound when they fly. Idiots.” The bee flew away. Later in the day when I went out again, the bee came back, this time it was buzzing as it flew around me. I laughed. They’d heard me. A few minutes went by and I stood in the front yard next to my car, when a dragonfly began to hover around in front of me. It was at eye level and kept flying in a somewhat circular pattern just a few feet away. I watched it for awhile and thought it strange. It also seemed to slow when it was closest to me. I think it was taking my picture. I got tired of posing for its pictures so I went inside the house and sat at the table next to the front window. The drapes were shut and the ony way to see inside the house was where there is a couple of inches between the curtain rod and the frame of window. As I sat there I saw that the dragonfly was hovering in that area, looking inside the house, it was watching me. I decided to go into the next room. I was testing it. Sure enough, it came around the house and began flying in slow circles at the window in that room. Again, watching me.
Saturday, Oct 15th. – The Paralysis
I was up late again last night. I was waiting. They didnt show up. I tried to film them, but they knew it. They’re afraid of being caught on film. They’re cowards. I woke up today. I couldn’t move. I could move my eyes, but my body wouldn’t budge. I was paralyzed. I tried very hard to move. I couldn’t. The window was open and the drapes were pulled halfway back. It was bright outside. This is it, I thought, they have me now. My body felt like it was 1000 pounds as I tried to move. It seemed to last a long time but I think it was only about a minute or two. I was terrified. They must be inside the house right now and I was about to catch them, so they paralyzed me to give them time to get out. They must have been bugging the other room. They can’t face me. They’re cowards.
Friday, November 13th. – Voices
I was having a dream. I was dreaming something that involved my friends James and Frank. I forget about what. It was at the moment when I was about to wake up for real and yet trying to stay asleep and in the dream. Then I heard a voice call out my name. It came from within my bedroom and was loud and clear. The voice was a womans voice. It didn’t come from my dream, because I heard it a few feet from me. I woke up instantly. There was nobody there but the lingering sound of that voice calling my name. It only said my name once. I live on the top floor and never hear anybody call out any names. They wont let me sleep.
Wednesday, November 25th- Inside My Head
I couldn’t think of a word today. I did think of it, yet it’s one of those words that you have to say slowly or you’ll mispronounce it every time. I was trying to say it in my head correctly, but I kept going to fast. Then a voice popped in there and slowly pronounced the word for me. It was a scary voice, not my voice, but, like a snake. It sounded female. I think it was them. They can hear my thoughts.
Monday, December 14th- The Drugs
My coffee doesn’t taste the same anymore. It also makes me feel like I’ve been snorting speed. It gives me a strange taste in my sinus cavity. I’ve been buying it from the same place for months now. It didn’t do this before. There is a new guy that just started working here. He always comes over to the coffee area when I come in. He must be putting something in my coffee. He’s one of them. I’ll watch him closer.
Saturday, December 19th- The Killing
I killed a man today. He was following me too closely. It’s his fault he wasn’t good at his job. He was careless. Screw him. He didn’t have the mohawk today. He was dressed like a bum, begging me for change in the alley. I’ve seen that disguise before, they can’t fool me. They don’t know who they’re messing with.
Sunday, December 20th- The Fear
I figured they’d come for me last night. I was expecting a nighttime raid when nobody could see what was happening. They didn’t come. Now they fear me.
Friday, January 8th- The Mohawk
I saw the man with the mohawk again as I was looking for a magazine to read at the library. He came and tried to make small talk. I just looked at him and said I had to leave. I think it’s my turn to follow him.
A Song to Kill By. by CygnusX1
Jan 29th
Posted by CygnusX1 in Short stories
The Darkness begins to crawl over the moonlight and the shadows begin to sway, irresponsibly at first, then with pattern and finally with a purpose.
The stranger had no idea that his life was about to be altered. He walked along, oblivious to the hazard that he quickly approached. He had a different plan. He had his music player blaring his favorite song through his earpieces. He was content, thinking of the days events.It was a simple day. Nothing too exciting happend, no major turmoil or event that rose to the surface enough to store in his memory.
”My uncle has a country place, that no one knows about. He says it used to be a farm, before the motor law”.
He sang along to his favorite song. He couldn’t hear the screaming winds ahead of him, nor the darkened laughter that lie just ahead. The air around him was still. He caught a glimps from the corner of his eye, some movement off to his left. He thought he saw a figure standing by a tree. He looked at the tree, he saw nothing. Looking around, he saw that he was alone on this street. He began to notice that the street lights were mostly off. There was a single light on in the distance. Tonight was a full moon, one of two this month. The second being what’s called a blue moon. This was that blue moon. When he looked at it earlier he thought it odd that it’s called a blue moon. It didnt look blue to him. He had wondered who named it and if maybe they had been on some psychotropic drug at the time. He would have to research the history behind that. He mused, the internet does have its uses.
He took a second look at the spot where he thought a figure stood, he rubbed his eyes because when he looked at that spot he had a strange blurred sensation in his eyes. He felt they wouldnt focus. He looked away. His eyes were fine. He looked back again at the area next to the tree, his eyes began to hurt, began to get that feeling of a slight headache behind his eyeballs.
“Jump to the ground as the turbo slows to cross the borderline. Ride like the wind as excitement shivers up and down my spine”.
He heard the lyrics scream in his head. He stopped looking at the area by the tree, his eyes felt good when he looked away. He began his walk again. It must have been his imagination. He noticed he was approaching the tunnel. A stretch of walkway that sat under a road above. He didnt mind walking into this tunnel. It scared some people at night. It was a good spot for the local hoodlums to mug somebody without any prying eyes. It was littered with graffiti. The punks thought a little paint meant it marked this spot as their own. How nieve youth can be. The same thought always crossed his mind when he was here, “Why stake a claim on this tiny little rat hole of a spot, there’s nothing here, theres no value to it, think bigger punks. You can have it all” Youth is wonderful, but it has its disadvatages, mainly, intelligence! He began to laugh at his thoughts, realizing he had the same lack of intelligence as a kid.
”I strip away the old debris, that hides the shining car, a brilliant Red Barrchetta from a better vanished time. Fire up the willing engine, responding with a roar. Tires spitting gravel I commit my weekly crime”.
His song blared at him. He liked this part. He saw the bench ahead and decided to sit down so he could absorb the lyrics, the music, and how they perfectly comingled to create such an auditory sensation that brought pleasant emotions to the mind. It was the perfect blend of notes and words. That’s what music is supposed to be about. It’s supposed to reach the inner energy within us, to stimulate our inner chords, to make the mind and body musical, which in turn brings us in line with the cosmic orchestra, the universal chorus of frequency.
He sat on the bench. There is a slight chill in the air. He looked down the length of the tunnel. He noticed somebody walking towards him. The person hadn’t quite reached the other end of the tunnels opening. The figure paused. He wasn’t sure why. Maybe they had seen him and were fearful. Maybe they would wait for him to go through and out of the tunnel before they proceeded through it themselves. Funny he thought, that somebody would think of him as a mugger. It’s ok, this wasnt the best part of town. It was actually a notorious section of the city for high crime rates. He knew that, and came here, for exactly that reason. As he sat there listening to his song, he noticed three more figures walking toward the other person at the far end of the tunnel. He smiled.
“Wind in my hair, shifting and drifting. Mechanical music. Adrenaline surge”
He closed his eyes as he listened to the bridge of the song. So pleasing. As if he was in that Barchetta, speeding across the countryside, with no worries. Imersing himself in music was his heaven. He felt no wind through his hair but he did most definately feel a huge adrenaline surge within himself. He glanced down the tunnel again and saw the three figures speaking to the figure seated on the bench. They appeared to be friends of some sort. They were givng fist bumps and rough housing with each other. The only sounds he heard were from his earphones, and that was fine with him. He didn’t need to hear anything else. In his mind, nothing could compare to the beauty of the sounds in his head at this moment.
“Sunlight on chrome, the blur of the landscape, every nerve aware”
As he looked away from the four, he again noticed movement over by the tree. This time he didn’t turn his head to look, he kept his eyes where they were, and yes, there was something there. He focused his peripheral vision and did see movement. It was the size of a person, maybe 6 feet tall, standing next to the tree. He didn’t see the person, what he saw was the air itself move and sway. it was as if that area of atmosphere itself was a big out of focus blur. There must be something there he thought. His heartbeat quickened. He didn’t expect anything like this tonight. He did have expectations for this evenings events, but not this. He was frozen. He didn’t know if he should move, look away or run. The thought of running quickly left his mind. His curiosity was now foremost in his mind. What could cause this effect he was seeing to his left, across the sidewalk by the tree? He took a look down the tunnel to see what the figures were doing down that way. They still huddled together at the bench. There were now two of them seated and two standing. It appeared they may have been waiting for him to make the first move. If that was indeed their purpose.
“I spin around with shreiking tires to run the deadly race. Go screaming through valley as another joins the chase”
He decided he was going to look over at the tree again to see what he would see. When he did this, there was a man standing there. He must have blinked, because as soon as he saw that man, he was gone, replace by the blur and the sensation of eye strain again. He closed his eyes. He rubbed them. He opened them again and noticed movement to his right, from the tunnel. He saw a lone figure walking toward him. The figure wore a trench coat. Easy to hide weapons in he thought. Thats why he owned several himself. Still thinking about what he saw over by the tree, he had to put it out of his mind for now. He had to focus on the approaching figure. He didn’t think he was in any trouble yet, if he had been, surely they would have all approached him as a group. Strength in numbers and all that crap. He preferred numbers. The more the merrier he always thought. It was a man that came up to him. He was in his late teens, 20 at the most, he looked unassuming. That’s why he came over though, to allay any fears the man might have been having.
He had his hands in his pockets. He reached his music player and pushed the pause button, waiting to hear what the kid was going to say. He didn’t wait long. “Hey man, do you have any matches or a lighter I can borrow”? The kid held a cigarette in his hand.
“Sorry kid, I left ‘em at home next to my bong” The kid laughed. The seated man noticed the smallest hint of nervous energy come from the kid. The kid said, “Oh, Ok man, sorry, didnt mean to bother ya”. He began walking back down the tunnel towards the rest of his friends. As he sat there he mused again about youth and its ignorance. Did those people down at the other end of the tunnel actually realize that he could see them smoking as he was asking for a match. Wow! He was surely going to enjoy tonight simply because these kids were just plain stupid.
“Ride like the wind, straining the limits of machine and man. Laughing out loud with fear and hope, I’ve got a desperate plan”
He realized that the kid came down to size him up. He would go back to his friends with a feeling of confidence that they could overwhelm him. Ah youth, with their superman complex, reinforced by the fact that they outnumbered tonights prey. It brought him great pleasure that he’d soon see the fear in their eyes. What he had in store for them would surely make them aware that superman only lived on the pages of a comic book. He was distracted by the blurred figure standing next to the tree, which he could now clearly see only when he didn’t look directly at it. He didn’t know if what stood by the tree was supernatural or just some new technology that his hard earned taxes paid for. He didn’t care. His destiny was already spelled out for him due to his visit with his doctor yesterday. Today he awoke thinking it was time he made a difference. He had the skills. He was trained by the best. He had reason to feel confident. He didn’t think twice about tonights events. He knew he would walk away feeling he’d helped in some small way. Although he didn’t plan for the thing that stood just across the walkway from him, some kind of silent, unseen observer. It appeared to be content to just stand there and watch.
It didn’t really matter much to him anyway. If the figure was going to intercede, then that’s how it was supposed to be. If not, all the better. He waited to see if the four youths would be brave enough and come to him. He also wanted to see who had the most patience. He knew they wouldn’t pass up a chance to get something for nothing. It was obvious they were here to cause some kind of trouble. To do somebody harm. Ironically, he was here for the same purpose. Though, some might argue, his was a more valiant cause. He sat down, pulled out a cigar and with the snap of his fingers, flame erupted from their tips. He lit his cigar. A large cloud of smoke rose up into the sky around him. He could still see the thing standing next to the tree. The more he looked at it, the clearer it became. It was a human form, a man. He wasn’t sure if it was wearing any clothes, if it was then they were all black. He didn’t notice shoes of any type. They could have been black as well. He decided to take another direct look at it again, but, as before, when he did, it disappeared from sight, the blur came back as well as the eye strain.
He thought of going over to it to see if it was actually there. He thought better of it for the moment. He didn’t want to get distracted. He sat back and took a puff from his cigar. A nice Cohiba. He looked again down the tunnel. The guys at the other end seemed to be looking down his way. It appeared they were in a heated discussion with each other. One of them kept pointing down towards him as he sat there. He cracked a huge smile to himself. He enjoyed playing this game. He’d always known how to get under peoples skin. By smoking his cigar, he’d known the effect it would have on the kid he spoke with. The kid wouldn’t appreciate being lied to and would take great offense to it. Not that they would need it, but it gave them kids down there a reason to come over to him and get in his face. They would have anyway, but he felt it better to anger them as much as possible in order to get them not thinking straight. An irrational mind can’t process rational thought.
Indirectly he glanced to his left and could see the figure still standing there. Looking down the tunnel, he noticed the four were approaching him, not too fast though, they were in no hurry. They were a bit over confident it seemed. Off to his left, he could see the figure, although it appeared much more clearer than before. He looked directly at it and this time he could still see it, without the blur and accompanying eye strain. It was dressed in black. It had on black boots. They sparkled when the moonlight hit them. The figure moved backwards and a little behind the tree. It obviously was moving out of site. He thought it was confirming his suspicion that something was standing there but also letting him know it was not ready to intercede. He couldn’t quite make out its face though. His face appeared to warp as he looked at it. It didnt hold a shape. It was more like a wave of faces, never the same one twice.
He could hear the footsteps of the group approaching him, getting louder as they neared. He pushed the pause button on his music player. He wanted to hear what was to be said. They were about 15 yards away from him, still inside the tunnel. He removed the earplugs from his ears. No need to get tangled up in them if, or when something happened. He stayed seated but sat up a little. They were in front of him now. The one who asked for a match spoke first.
“Hey you old bastard, you said you didn’t have a light”. What’s your fuckin problem? Now, I’m gonna to have to take what I want, and you aint gonna like it asshole!”
The youth pulled out a knife that sparkled in the moonlight. It looked like a hunting blade with the serrated edge. Another youth pulled out a gun. Now their getting serious he thought to himself. It’s about time. He noticed the other two had pulled out what looked like a Louieville Slugger and a sword of some type. Maybe a small samurai. He like that. This is going to be fun he thought. He looked at the kids standing in front of him and raised his hand slowly to his face and scratched his forehead. His sleeve inched up his arm as he did this, revealing a two thousand dollar Movado watch. He noticed the sparkle in the eye of the kid doing the talking. Perfect. He’d acheived his desired effect of showcasing his wealth. Louisville Slugger said, “Fuck the matches, How bout you give up that watch old man”
He looked at them without expression. He said, “Hey guys, I don’t want any trouble. This watch was a gift from my daughter. You want cash. I have it. Please don’t take my watch.” “I wasn’t asking old man. Give up the watch or we’ll mess you up real good.” They all voiced their agreement to this idea. Looking at the kid in front of him, he could still see the figure over by the tree. He saw it clearly. It was seated on a rock, watching. It now appeared to be holding what looked like a crossbow. Aimed directly at the gang of kids standing in front of him. He didn’t want help. He put up a hand to the figure, I got this, the gesture said. When he did this, it spooked the gang. The one with the gun pointed it at his head, and they all looked over by the tree.
They too saw nothing. They all began to squint their eyes. They must have been seeing the blur, along with the eye strain. They looked back at him. “Why the fuck did you do that, who’s over there?” He said, “Nobody, I was just saying a prayer for you guys”. “Look old man, you better give up the cash and that watch right now or we’ll take it off your dead fuckin body.”
It was time. He jumped down on his knees in front of the two holding the knife and gun. He grabbed the bottoms of their trench coats and begged. “Please dont hurt me. Please. I have a wife and kids. Please. Please. I’ll give you what you want. I have cash. I’ll give you a light. ” As he said this, flames shot out of his fingers and caught the trenchcoats on fire. The kids began to yell. He caught the arm of the guy with the gun and broke his wrist, grabbing the gun and tossing it away. The kid screamed in pain and began to run toward the tunnel as his trench began to become fully engulfed. Halfway throught the tunnel he fell to the ground. The other flaming kid was trying to get his trench off. As he did this, the man grabbed his knife hand and plunged the knife into the kids throat and pushed him away. He fell to the ground and began to burn. Now he stood looking at Louieville Slugger and Mr Samurai. They had fear in their eyes. He smiled to himself. This is what living was. This was pure adrenaline. He said, “Ok Louie, you want my watch so bad, take it, ‘off my dead fuckin body’ is what you said, right”? He pointed to the head of the guy holding the samurai, smiled and shot a flame from his finger. It caught the kid full in the face. His head was immediatley engulfed in fire. The man reached over and grabbbed the samurai sword before the kid hit the ground. There were no screams. The flames were quickly inhaled and burned the kids lungs.
He stood his ground in a one on one battle with louiville slugger. He held the sword out in front of him, circling the youth. The kid took a swing. He swung the sword. The clash of weapons was brief. The sword cut the bat in half. Amazed and quite scared now, the kid dropped the bat and ran. He was running back through the tunnel. He stood there watching the kid run, he began to raise his hand again towards the kid, he heard the swish of air next to his ear and felt a sting on his earlobe. The kid fell face down hard on the concrete. There was an arrow sticking out of the back of his skull. He was dead.
He turned around to look at the tree. A man was standing right in front of his face. He was startled and stepped back. He could now see the man clearly. He was holding the crossbow. They stood eye to eye. His face was clear now, no longer shifting as before. “I could have taken care of that one on my own.” He heard a voice in his head say ” Yeah, but I got tired of the smell of burning flesh.” He smiled at his friend with the crossbow and nodded. He looked around at the scene of mayhem. What a mess he thought. Looking back up to speak with his watcher he realized he was gone. He turned around and saw nobody. He stood alone. He looked down the tunnel and saw the arrow being removed from the kids skull, but saw only a blur standing above the body.
He reached into his coat and pulled out his earphones, put them back into his ears and pushed play. He walked down the tunnel, enjoying the end of his favorite song.
“At the one lane bridge I leave the giant stranded at the riverside. Race back to the farm, to dream with my Uncle at the fireside”