Across a Crowded Train by Neil Gupta

Jack cursed once more under his breath as he edged forward on the packed Charing Cross platform as yet another train whizzed past on the Northern Line full to the brim with commuters, students and foreigners.  So many foreigners.  Where did they all come from and why did they have to travel on the Northern Line at the exact same moment he needed to.  Every day.  At the same time every day.

Seven minutes later, Jack finally boarded a train.  He was late for an important meeting and not in the mood to face up to the usual London commute.  He was wedged in tightly between a group of teenagers all screaming and gesticulating at each other in a foreign language.  It sounded a little Latin.  Could be Italian, probably Spanish.  Either way, it was the worst combination for Jack.  Foreign students.  Could this day get worse?

And that’s when he saw her.  A face he had not seen in a long time.  That unforgettable face.  A face so achingly beautiful yet one that awakened a memory he had tried so hard to suppress and one that he was not ready to face up to again. 

She was stood across the carriage, within his eyeline but not within range.  He studied her for a moment, wrestling with conflicting emotions.  He had longed for this moment and dreaded it in equal measure.  He had always wanted to see her again and yet was content to have not faced up to this moment until now.   It had been eight years but it had taken Jack a long time to forget.  He had certainly not forgiven.  For a fleeting second their eyes met.  His heart skipped a beat.  He looked away but could not resist looking back.

Lucy was having a really bad day.  Every day seemed to take its toll on her since the arguments with Ben had begun to escalate into fully blown battles of will.  Their relationship had always been volatile but at first this had been part of the chemistry that bound them.  After eight years together, the intensity of their attraction had dwindled and the friction that remained suggested an incompatibility that would not be easily overcome.  This realization had recently dawned on Lucy and she felt deeply sad yet could not imagine life without him.

Lucy had become immune to the daily slog of tube travel.  She had quietly and patiently made her way onto yet another crowded train and was lost in her own thoughts when she caught a glimpse of someone who seemed vaguely familiar.  He was across the carriage.  She knew him but couldn’t place him.  Then their eyes locked and she remembered.  Jack.  Sweet Jack.  The intervening eight years had served him well.  He looked leaner, fitter and smarter. Her cheeks reddened at the memory of that last encounter as she recalled how devious she had been, how badly she had treated him because she so wanted to be with his best friend Ben.  How fickle she was then.

Jack winced at the memory of the last time he had seen Lucy.  He had thought they were blissfully happy.  They had been dating for six weeks which was an eternity at university.   Jack’s best friend Ben was the ladies man.  He usually had the pick.  However Lucy had chosen Jack.  They had spent six glorious weeks together in late spring, almost inseparable.  The sex was fast, it was furious, and it was plentiful.  That’s how it was in those days.  Lucy had told Jack she loved him and he had believed it.  He had so wanted to believe it because he had fallen in love with her from the first moment they met.

That fateful day they were due to meet at their favourite pub, a cosy little bolthole where they had shared many an evening.  He had arrived in a buoyant mood, a spring in his step and yet within minutes was left devastated by Lucy’s revelation.  She was being honest.  She didn’t want to string him along.  The truth was that she had fallen for Ben.  Yes, popular Ben who it seems always got the girl.  Jack had been furious.  He did not let her explain.  There could be no consolation.  How easily the heart is given away aged twenty and how easily it can be shattered into small fragments.  Jack’s expected summer of contentment was in tatters and he ran as fast as he could to escape the horror of the moment, away from his girl and away from his best friend, forever. 

It was only two years later that he discovered the depth of her treachery when a friend of Lucy’s who had been keen on him ever since the split, confided in him one drunken evening that Lucy had always wanted to be with Ben and had shamelessly used Jack to make Ben jealous and notice her.  Jack had long held these suspicions but having it revealed to him so callously almost toppled him over the edge of despair.

Lucy felt a sense of shame as she recalled to herself the events that had led up to her split with Jack.  She had liked Jack and felt at ease with him but her long legs and blonde hair had made her popular with a wide group of lads at college and she coveted the attention.  She had noticed Ben first but he was very much her male equivalent and too self-absorbed to pay Lucy any proper attention so she had cunningly devised a plan to grab his attention with both hands.  Jack had been the innocent party in this scheme and yet only now, years on and with a greater sense of maturity, could she really see how devastating her actions had been.  Poor Jack.  The first two years with Ben were wonderful and she had not regretted her scheming once.  They were the envy of all who knew them and even among those they passed in the street.  Totally loved up.  The perfect couple.  Now, with the memory of their latest fight fresh in her mind, she knew objectively that they were not well suited.  Not for the long term, at least.  Yet all her friends had begun to meet partners and settle down.  Engagement party after engagement party.  Weddings would follow next.  Despite being in the longest relationship, there was no sign it would lead to marriage or babies.  She was becoming acutely aware that she might be the last one standing and it frightened her.  It was not part of the plan.

Jack studied Lucy’s face as they passed through Kings Cross north bound towards Camden where he would alight.  Her youthful beauty had faded.  She looked weary and worn, a bit plain.  This was far from what he had imagined when running this potential moment through his mind over and over again.  He wondered if she was still with Ben.  The prospect revolted him.  He had long convinced himself that they deserved each other but that did not forgive how they had humiliated him.   He realized to his surprise that she no longer had an impact on him.  Instead his mind resurfaced to the present day and he thought longingly of his darling Sophie.  She was the real woman of his dreams who had coaxed him from a state of mild depression to help him cherish life and love again. Sophie simply lacked the ability to be devious or cunning.  She was more perfect than Lucy could ever wish to be.  The thought of her made him smile.  He was looking in Lucy’s direction but he was looking straight through her.

As they passed Kings Cross, Lucy looked back towards Jack, her mind awash with what might have been.  She was delighted to see him smiling towards her.  Oh Jack, sweet Jack.  Only Jack could forgive her terrible indiscretions.  Her mind started to wander to escapism away from the drudgery of life with Ben.  How lovely it would be to rekindle the flame with Jack.  Would he have her back?  Could she be happy with him?

The train pulled into Camden Town.  Jack had all but forgotten seeing Lucy.  Seeing Lucy had helped to clear his mind.  Sophie was the one.  He knew that now and he needed her to know.  Lucy saw Jack leave the train and went to follow.  She wanted to see him, to explain to him what had happened all those years ago.  How she had been so wrong.  To seek his forgiveness.

Jack moved quickly up the platform.  Lucy had to run to catch him.  “Jack!” she called hurriedly.  He stopped, turned round and momentarily lost his poise.  “Oh…Err…Hi Lucy.  I thought it was you.  How are things?” he asked casually.  “Great, really great Jack.  You look amazing”.  She paused, looked down at her feet and shifted uneasily.  This was a side to Lucy that Jack had not seen but he was unmoved.  “So, Jack, do you have time for a coffee?  It would be….um… great to catch up”.

Jack stood still for a moment in silent reflection.  His response surprised even himself.  “Actually Lucy, I’m really busy.  Late for a meeting already as it happens.  Lovely to see you but I must be off”.  And with that he turned and disappeared off into the crowd.  He didn’t look back.

Lucy stared after him, aghast.  In just fifteen minutes she had fabricated a new, exciting life for herself.  Free from Ben.  With Jack.  It was irrational but that’s how it had played out in her mind.  Suddenly she felt all alone.

That evening, Jack arranged to meet Sophie for a drink at their favourite pub, yards from where she lived.  They had their first date there and they had been regulars since.    Sophie was a little apprehensive as she arrived.  Jack had been acting strangely all day. 

As she entered the pub, she saw that Jack had ordered a bottle of champagne.  He was beaming at her.  “Is everything OK, Jack?” she asked suspiciously.  “Oh yes, Sophie.  Everything is great.  Now just one question before we sit down…Sophie, will you marry me?”